


Neon Signs

by Screaming_bubble



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Again, Attempt at Humor, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, More characters to be added, Suburbia, Time Skips, all of the nct's grew up together, but not in a sad mopey way, jaehyun is lovesick, mentions of weed, more tags will be added, taeyong is beautiful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 20:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30111267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Screaming_bubble/pseuds/Screaming_bubble
Summary: To Jaehyun being in love with Taeyong was practically second nature. Whether he's twelve and wrestling with the awkwardness of cracking voices and overnight growth spurts or twenty-two and sleep deprived, there was no denying that a part of him belonged to Taeyong alone, even after he suddenly left to the city with barely a warning and a goodbye.It's when he returns almost five years later that Jaehyun is forced to confront the image he had so tenderly placed upon a pedestal and thus the feelings that had taken up permanent residence in his chest.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	Neon Signs

**Author's Note:**

> This is a product of late night pining and listening to playlists that fill you with the kind of longing that makes you want to sit in an empty parking lot and pretend you're the main character of a coming of age netflix special.
> 
> And speaking of playlists...
> 
> [Click Me](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/11wVU2yddg1aLEevtKQZqq?si=b20b171d334c49e3)

2019

“So apparently Taeyong is coming down with your brother this summer.”

Jaehyun pauses while drying the dishes, the warm suds on the rim of the plate soaking into the already pruning skin of his fingertips.  
Now _that_ was a name he hadn’t heard in a while.  
He cringes as a drop of soap bubbles escape the towel and hit him on his sock, right between his second and third toe. 

“Did he say why?” He replies, glancing over at his mom. He tried to keep his tone relatively indifferent as he watched her scrub away at a particularly stubborn piece of grime stuck to the inside of one of their soup bowls. 

“Doyoungie had mentioned a while back that he was talking to his mother again, so that probably has something to do with it.” Setting the bowl aside, she gingerly peels one by one the grotesquely yellow rubber gloves off her hands and dabs them on a second dish towel hanging off of the oven handle before hanging them on a hook on the wall. “Sounds like she’s been doing better these days.” 

Jaehyun places his dish in the cupboard and wipes his hands off on his jeans, nodding.  
It must have been at least five years since he last saw Taeyong in person. Sure, they had tried keeping in contact for the first few months but Taeyong had always been notoriously bad at keeping in contact. Quite frankly he’s pretty sure the only reason his brother still had regular interaction with him was because they literally went to the same school.

He walked over to the fridge just for something to do, reaching in robotically and pulling out a jug of iced tea before realising he didn’t want any and putting it back in favor of one of his little brother’s capri suns.

“Is he going to be staying with us or…?” He leaves the sentence open ended to jab the little yellow straw into the pouch and noisily sip through it, all of his senses suddenly bombarded with artificial tasting kiwi-strawberry.

His mom shakes her head as she wipes away the little droplets that had speckled the yellow linoleum around the sink. “I think he’s going to be staying with his mom, bless him. Hopefully it works out.” 

Jaehyun sipped away at his juice, sucking until the packet crinkled flat and all that came through the straw was flavored air.  
Man. Taeyong back home. Jaehyun could barely even imagine it. It had been so long. Too long.  
He had never gotten a proper explanation, back when Taeyong had left. _’I’ll tell you later.’_ He had said, _’When you’re older.’_.  
He never did though.

2010

The first time Jaehyun experienced what it felt like to be completely enamored with someone at a first glance was when he was twelve. 

It was in the middle of the night, a Tuesday, and Jaehyun was just in the midst of getting himself a glass of water before going back to sleep when he noticed a stranger sitting on the couch in the living room munching on what looked a lot like the last pack of gummy bears he had been hiding in one of the taller cabinets so his little brother couldn’t get to them. 

The stranger couldn’t have been older than fourteen, sprawled out across the couch. He was wearing jeans with gaping holes in the knees and a band shirt Jaehyun could barely read because of how faded the print was, his features highlighted in shades of flickering blue from the tv he was absentmindedly staring at as his jaw slowly moved with his chewing. 

“Whatcha looking at?” A whisper came from behind him, making him flinch and lose his grasp on the handrail, only barely catching himself before tumbling down the stairs.

“What the hell Doyoung!?” He shrieked as Doyoung laughed from behind him, a pillow squished under his arm and a blanket over his shoulder. “I could have fallen!”

“As if that doesn’t happen to you at least once a week anyway,” Doyoung snidely commented as he pushed past him to continue down, readjusting the pillow under his arm.

Jaehyun turned his attention back to the boy on the couch only to find him looking up at him, large eyes twinkling in the dark as they reflected the lights on the screen. Something about him felt unreal, too… he didn’t even know what to be human and Jaehyun found himself having to force his eyes away to focus on the remaining steps in front of him.

“Oh right,” Doyong said, making Jaehyun look up to where his brother had thrown himself down on the couch and was already digging around in the now almost empty gummy bear package that was still in the stranger’s hand. “You guys haven’t met yet, right?”

Jaehyun shook his head, flicking his eyes back towards the other person who was now gradually sitting up, almost embarrassed at getting caught sitting so comfortably in someone else's home. 

He was almost alarmingly skinny, the fabric of his t-shirt just barely draped over his body and hanging off of his shoulders loosely to show off his collarbone now that he was sitting up. There was a kind of litheness to him that came from more than just a boyish metabolism, the skin stretched tight over harsh angles and strange bumps. And yet there was no denying that this person was beautiful.  
Not beautiful in the classic sense, not beautiful in the way you would call a flower or in the way you would refer to a sunset. No, this person was the kind of beautiful that had the potential of ruining lives, the kind that only sharpened over time until it became dangerous. It made Jaehyun’s chest contract in a way that he didn’t quite understand yet, something that made his body squirm, like every single cell in his body had chosen that exact moment to realign. The beautiful stranger smiled up at him, something so soft in comparison to the way he carried himself, switching the bag of gummy bears from one hand to the other so he could stick out his clean hand.

“Hey,” His smile widened a fraction, just enough to make the corner of his eyes crinkle, just short of showing teeth. “I’m Taeyong.”

And Jaehyun really wasn’t given much choice in the matter but to fall.

2019

It had been over two hours since Jaehyun had initially gone to bed. There was a ticking sound coming from somewhere in the room that he had found himself hyperfocusing on, too loud to be ignored but too quiet to consider a big enough nuisance to lure him out of bed.  
He blindly reached over to his nightstand, his hand fumbling across the surface to find his phone and bringing it to his face, the click of the screen turning on so much louder in the quiet darkness. The light is much too bright for his dry eyes, making him squint to try and make out the blurry digits that almost melt in with his colorful wallpaper. Three twenty-five. Sighing to himself, he lets his hand fall beside him, his phone getting lost in the folds of his duvet as he blinks the white spots from his eyes. 

It had always been hard for him to sleep. When he was younger it had been video games, when he got older it was the hours spent on social media until it then became his job. But tonight it was different. Tonight, along with his usual brand of blue light induced insomnia, there happened to be a very particular thrumming of excitement through his veins.  
The thought that in just a few hours he would be able to see Taeyong again in person made Jaehyun’s skin vibrate as he stared at the shadows stretching across his ceiling. However, with every second that passed, he found himself becoming more and more unsure whether or not the vibrating was the good kind.

There was no denying that Taeyong had been the first person Jaehyun had ever really taken an interest in romantically. While his friends had begun to experience their first relationships, the tendrils of “young love” spreading their way across his school and tangling unsuspected students together in cocoons of impatient longing and inexperienced confessions, Jaehyun had been relatively unaffected, not really caring much for the buzzing that seemed to surround everyone else. But once he had met Taeyong everything had changed. Suddenly he was more preoccupied with trying to hide the flames that kissed his skin from the inside whenever he so much and heard his name than anything else around him, something only made worse by the fact that he had so blatantly fallen for someone he really shouldn’t have been interested in in the first place. 

Even after Taeyong had left and Jaehyun had been forced to at least attempt to move on, he just couldn’t get him out of his head. Everytime he looked at someone Jaehyun found himself comparing them to him, weighing out every single one of their traits, both personal and physical, to this impossible standard that he had set for himself. It didn’t matter who they were, how great they could be, how much he liked them, they weren’t Taeyong and that was something they could never change. 

At some point he decided to just give up. Accept the fact that he would more than likely never meet someone to check all the boxes and he was fine with it. He had his friends and honestly he had never been really that interested in the concept of a relationship in general. It wasn’t the relationship with Taeyong he had wanted. It was Taeyong himself.  
Which made seeing him again after so many years that much more terrifying. What would he do if he found out that the impossible standards he had followed all these years were even too impossible for the person who had set them in the first place?

Running his fingers through his hair, Jaehyun slowly closed his eyes. He knew he was being over-dramatic, knew that it wasn’t the end of the world if his highschool crush turned out differently from what he had imagined. But even though he knew this, even though he chanted it to himself over and over again, he couldn’t help but feel that although it wouldn’t be the end of the world, literally, it would be the end of his world, the end of the one thing he had always been so sure of.

“It’ll be fine.” He murmured to himself as he curled onto his side, wrapping the blanket tighter around his body and letting it encase him so he could block out the thoughts and worries that wouldn’t stop trying to penetrate into his skin. “Everything’ll be fine.”

2012

Although it had taken mere seconds for Jaehyun to find himself obsessed with every aspect that was Taeyong Lee, it had taken years for his shallow prepubescent infatuation to transform itself into the heart-wrenching kind of love he found himself in. It was something that grew naturally over a series of moments, a general fondness that took over every one of his cells like ivy, climbing its way through his veins and over his bones until he found himself completely submerged, held together by this finely woven foundation.

It was little things, like Taeyong always making sure he brought extra bags of sweets whenever he came to visit, what had started out as a sort of apology for finishing Jaehyun’s pack the first night they had met but had gradually become a ritual, an entry fare to spend time with them as if they wouldn’t give everything for him. Or the little smiles Taeyong would direct at him when they passed in the halls at school his first year, a sign of friendly support even though at that time they had never really breached past friendly introductions. He had a way of making you feel noticed, like you were important.  
Which was ultimately what made him so popular. There was something about his personality, an infectious quality that made others want to bask in his presence as if hoping that by standing close enough they’d be able to rub off some of the magic than seemed to emanate from his skin. 

Taeyong’s general consideration for everyone around him did have some drawbacks, however. It could make you feel foreign, special in the moment, as if you were the one he had chosen to shed his light upon, only for him to direct his light to someone else, reminding you that you were just another person, another flower attracted to the sun. 

Jaehyun had never been brazen enough to assume he was anything more than that, just Taeyong’s friend’s little brother there by convenience instead of want, which was why it came as such a surprise to find Taeyong standing on his doorstep one particularly cold friday afternoon, a day they both knew Doyoung wouldn’t be home.

“Hello!” Taeyongs cheeks were tinted red from the frosty air, his nose shiny as he smiled at Jaehyun with his megawatt smile.

Jaehyun stood there dumbfounded, hand still on the doorknob, as he tried to think of a way to ask what Taeyong was doing at his house without coming across as rude before ultimately deciding it would be easier to just step aside and let him in.

Taeyong slipped past him into the house, shivering slightly with his cheeks puffed out and his shoulders hiked up to his ears, running his gloveless hands up and down his thighs to try and bring back some of the warmth to his skin. He was wearing his usual skinny jeans, these only slightly less ripped with a tear right below his left pocket and showing off a thin sliver of shockingly pale skin right underneath the hem of his bomber jacket.  
Jaehyun cleared his throat.

“Uhm, Doyoung isn’t here right now…?” Jaehyun said in a way that could be interpreted as a question as he watched Taeyong try yanking off one of his boots without undoing the laces.

“Yeah, I know. He’s still at glee club, right?” He looked to the side, up at Jaehyun, before working on his other boot. “You don’t mind me hanging out here without him, do you?”

Jaehyun shook his head. There was quite possibly nothing he minded less than to have Taeyong at his house, with or without his brother. He does, however, wish that he had had a bit of forewarning because while Taeyong’s appearance looked every bit as perfectly put together as usual, with his all black ensemble and artfully tousled hair, Jaehyun had just gotten out of the shower and was currently donning a Smokey the Bear t-shirt his mom had gotten for free at some function and a pair of sweatpants with a hole in the crotch that became visible anytime he sat down.

He followed Taeyong into the living room, trying with all his might to make his posture seem at least somewhat natural instead of the cement block that had suddenly replaced his spine as Taeyong threw himself down on the couch with a thunk, looking towards him with a smile.

“So, how’re things going kiddo? I see you pretty much every day but I don’t think I know anything about your life outside of what your brother tells me.”

Jaehyun mentally revoked his earlier appreciation of having Taeyong’s attention on him as he began to nervously wrack his mind for something to say. He couldn’t think of anything in his life that would be interesting enough to tell anyone let someone he looked up to, admired, someone whom he knew had so many stories and experienced so many things when the current highlight of his own life was having watched his friend accidentally eat a fire ant at lunch. 

“It’s just, y’know,” He leaned against the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets and staring down at the floor. “There isn’t much to tell, to be honest. School’s school and I kinda only have like 3 friends so...”  
He looked up to find Taeyong looking at him with his eyebrows hiked up in the center of his forehead, big eyes glistening in something that looked devastatingly close to pity.  
Oh god, in his attempt at nonchalance he had somehow managed to make himself sound even more pathetic.

“I mean,” He backtracked, stammering over his words, “It’s cool though! I like it this way. They’re really nice guys.”

Taeyong smiled again as he brought his hand up to lean on the armrest, tilting his head to the side until it rested on his palm. “Well that’s always good. Tell me a bit about them.”

It didn’t take long for Jaehyun to realise that talking to Taeyong was quite easy once he finally stopped second guessing every single word to come out of his mouth. Taeyong would look back at him as he spoke, eyes alert but not intrusive while nodding along to Jaehyun’s stories of how they met, laughed when he recounted the time one of his friends had tried climbing up a tree to get a soccer ball that had gone astray only to end up getting stuck and having to wait until his older brother got home from his part time job half an hour later.  
There was something about his mannerisms that showed how genuinely interested he was in what Jaehyun had to say, instead of the fake laughs and forced smiles of someone who was just trying to keep up a pretense.  
There was no reason for Taeyong to sit there and listen to Jaehyun recount all the moments he had shared with his friends but he did. As the stories spilled from his mouth, the words coming out faster and more sure with every laugh or cringe that came from Taeyongs body, Jaehyun found himself not wanting to stop. He watched as Taeyong listened, enraptured, and kept on going, baring his experiences, even as the carefully crafted image he had attempted to create crumbled down like a sandcastle.

He hadn’t even realised that at some point during his storytelling he had ended up sitting on the sofa next to him, one of his legs bent on the cushion in front of him and the other dangling down the side until he heard the front door opening and turned to find his brother standing in the doorway, a scarf covering half of his face and the tip of his nose a shocking shade of red from the biting wind outside. Both Taeyong and Jaehyun watched him as he slowly unraveled himself from his layers of clothing.

“Man, I leave you alone for less than an hour for my scholarly duties and you’re already trying to replace me with my brother?” He shook his head, a smirk playing on his lips as he slid out of his sneakers. “I thought we were more than this, Tae. I thought what we had was special.”

Jaehyun felt himself retract back into himself, his hands coming together to grasp at his ankle as he looked down at the couch cushion in embarrassment. He let himself get too carried away. Taeyong was Doyoungs friend, not his own. Just because he had taken a little bit of interest didn’t mean that had changed. Jaehyun had to remember that. 

“Jaehyun was telling me about his friends! They sound like so much fun!” Taeyong beamed down at Jaehyun, his emotions so pure and unfiltered and written across his face in bold script without a hint of regret or annoyance. It let Jaehyun dare to hope that maybe it was ok. Maybe Taeyong could be both of their friends. 

“Eh, they’re alright.” Doyoung walked towards them and perched himself on the armrest of the couch next to Taeyong. “They’re all nerds like Jae though.” He looked down at the empty space on the couch between the two of them, his eyes catching on something. “Speaking of which… Jae?” Jaehyun looked up from where his eyes had been trained on his ankle to see Doyoungs smirk grow as he pointed down at Jaehyun’s lap.

“Your snoopy boxers are showing.”

2019

“Jaehyun, can you calm down for god’s sake? You’re making me antsy.”

By two-forty five the next day Jaehyun was a complete mess. He had woken up with a start sometime short of twelve pm, his mouth dry and eyes swollen after a night of fitful sleep and stress induced nightmares. Exactly what he needed today.  
He had tried distracting himself by spending the majority of the day running around and cleaning every nook and cranny of the house, his parents watching him wide eyed as he even began polishing each of the little knick knacks they had scattered around the room until his mother had finally decided she had had enough of his buzzing around and asked him to help her make lunch.

“I’m calm, I’m calm.” Jaehyun said, not even trying to be convincing as his mom arched her eyebrow at him.

“You better not be drinking those god-awful energy drinks again. You’re gonna get a heart attack at the age of twenty-five at this rate.

Jaehyun rolled his eyes as he reached over his mom to grab a carrot from the bowl on the counter. “No, mom, only triple shot espressos every half hour, I swear.” He smiled as she softly smacked at his arm and muttered a small ‘That isn’t much better’ under her breath. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’m just excited, honestly.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re excited to see your brother and his friend sweetie, but if you ask me one more time when they’re arriving I may need to lock you outside. No move over so I can throw out these potato peels.”

Just as Jaehyun stepped backwards to make way for his mom, he heard the doorbell ring, freezing in his spot before staring up at his mom. They were early.

“Well, go on.” She said exasperatedly, nodding her head in the direction of the door as she wiped her hands down on her apron. “Answer it!”

The way Jaehyun turned on his heel to head to the door was nothing short of comedic, stopping abruptly when he realised he was still wearing his dad’s ‘Kiss the Chef’ apron and quickly untangling himself from it.  
Just as he was trying to get the string unhooked from one of his earrings, ignoring the way his mom laughed at him from the other end of the kitchen, Jaehyun could hear his dad opening the door, speeding up the untangling process as much as he could without actively ripping the earring out of his ear as he continues to make his way out. He slid to a halt in the doorway that connected the kitchen and the living room just as his dad bellowed out a “Welcome home!”, skidding a little across the floor until he managed to catch his balance and looked up to find... Him. Just standing there, with that signature smile on his face as if not a day has passed.

“What’s up, Jae. Long time no see.” 

***

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I hope you enjoyed it!  
> Please feel free to comment your thoughts, opinions, critiques, declarations of love, whatever.


End file.
